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Apr. 28th, 2007
Memories of Pasts that Aren't
Apr. 28th, 2007 11:40 pmNot sure why I'm making this one public as it's a bit more intense than I'd usually post in public...but maybe people can take something away from it.
I'm looking at pics of a place I was at, of a bunch of people having fun (not sex), and I'm wondering whether during that time I was wandering somewhere by myself completely oblivious to the fun that was being had. And that makes me a bit...frustrated. And then I wonder whether the people who were at this thing could have told me that fun was being had, which brings up a different but similarly unpleasant range of thoughts.
Also...one of you told a mutual friend something you shouldn't have. If you were trying to make things better between them and I it could hardly have backfired more than it did. In fact, it set back us making amends by _months_. (sarcasm) Thank you for that (/sarcasm). So, in the future...
When I speak to you of my feelings about a 3rd party, my intention is NOT that you will GO OUT AND TELL THEM WHAT I SAID (OR MORE LIKELY MANGLE IT). I've been fucked over by poor middlemen too much in the past, and I don't want to be angry at anyone for playing that role in the future. If I want you to play middleman, I shall explicitly tell you so...or you can ask.
Oh, and by the way...don't underestimate my social network, or my knack for finding out information both deliberately and otherwise. In fact, you may be best off just assuming that if you mention how (you think) I feel about someone to them that it WILL come back to me. Do consider me finding out that you spread around information that was told in confidence and WAS NOT meant to be spread around, particularly to the worst party it could possibly have been conveyed to, to be a trust-breaker, though.
Yeah, I'm having a few anger issues right now.
I will speak about this further to any concerned party...but not here.
I'm looking at pics of a place I was at, of a bunch of people having fun (not sex), and I'm wondering whether during that time I was wandering somewhere by myself completely oblivious to the fun that was being had. And that makes me a bit...frustrated. And then I wonder whether the people who were at this thing could have told me that fun was being had, which brings up a different but similarly unpleasant range of thoughts.
Also...one of you told a mutual friend something you shouldn't have. If you were trying to make things better between them and I it could hardly have backfired more than it did. In fact, it set back us making amends by _months_. (sarcasm) Thank you for that (/sarcasm). So, in the future...
When I speak to you of my feelings about a 3rd party, my intention is NOT that you will GO OUT AND TELL THEM WHAT I SAID (OR MORE LIKELY MANGLE IT). I've been fucked over by poor middlemen too much in the past, and I don't want to be angry at anyone for playing that role in the future. If I want you to play middleman, I shall explicitly tell you so...or you can ask.
Oh, and by the way...don't underestimate my social network, or my knack for finding out information both deliberately and otherwise. In fact, you may be best off just assuming that if you mention how (you think) I feel about someone to them that it WILL come back to me. Do consider me finding out that you spread around information that was told in confidence and WAS NOT meant to be spread around, particularly to the worst party it could possibly have been conveyed to, to be a trust-breaker, though.
Yeah, I'm having a few anger issues right now.
I will speak about this further to any concerned party...but not here.
